RCCG Sunday School TEACHER Manual 15th April 2018 Lesson 33 – Conflict Management In The Family
OPENING PRAYER: Father, uproot every
instrument of conflict in our families in Jesus’
name. Let your power restore peace in our families
Bible Passage: Genesis 13:7-9
7 And there was a strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s cattle and the herdsmen of Lot’s cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.
8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and
between my herdsmen and thy herdsmen; for we
9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if
thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.
MEMORY VERSE: “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men,” Romans 12:17
A family is defined as a group of people
related by blood, marriage, law (e.g. adoption) or custom. Generally, conflict can be defined as strong disagreement between people,
groups, etc., that results in often angry argument.
Conflict management is the
practice of being able to identify and handle conflicts sensibly, fairly, and efficiently. Conflict is inevitable. No relationship is perfect or conflict free, but conflict when managed
biblically can serve as a catalyst for change and opportunity for a good family growth.
TEXT REVIEW: GENESIS 13:7-9
One may be surprised to discover that both
riches and poverty cause conflict. Solomon knew that wherever poverty bites hard, there
will be conflict. )Proverbs 30:8-9). In today’s Bible passage, it was riches or wealth that
originated strife between Lot and his uncle, Abraham.
Genesis 13:6-11 mentioned a few
things which can lead to conflict.
i. Material factor of riches can cause conflict. Gen.13:6
ii. Land or space can be another cause of conflict. Gen. 13:6
iii. The original human factor behind the conflict between Abraham and his nephew
were their servants (herdsmen). This calls for proper management of staff, house help,
labourers. Gen. 13:7
iv. Abraham demonstrated maturity in
resolving the crises in the following ways. (Gen. 13:8):
a. Abraham called his nephew to a round table
discussion. He charged him not to allow strife.
b. Abraham identified the sources of the
conflict was strife among the herdsmen. Gen.
c. Abraham understood the fact that the unbelievers were watching and it was unacceptable for them to strife when the
Canaaniteses and Perizzites were watching. Gen. 13:7
d. Abraham accepted to forgo the right of “first choice” Being an elder to Lot, he should choose first, but he allowed his brother to make the first choice for the sake of peace.
Gen. 13:9, 11.
e. Abraham considered the land as nothing worth dying for “is not the whole land before
you” Gen. 13:9
There comes the question, where is our maturity in conflict.? Some leaders or followers could fight in public for a few provisions, some may extend their fists to the
church or even vestry. Some people are ready to die for what is not worth dying for, etc. We
do not need to be DEAD RIGHT for a right we can allow. We can tow the path of peace instead.
Lesson Outline 1: CONFLICT IN THE FAMILY AND ITS CAUSES
i. Misunderstanding among members of
immediate or extended family.
ii. Contradictory interest among family members.
iii. Incompatibility (Amos 3:3).
iv. Unresolved disagreement. Eph.4:26-27.
v. Lack of trust. Prov. 31:11.
vi.Unforgiveness. 2Cor. 2:10-11.
vii. Communication gap. Heb.13:16.
viii. Unfaithfulness. Gen 39:7-12.
ix. Financial challenges. 1Tim 6:8-10.
x. Lack of genuine love. Col.3:19; 1Pet.1:22.
Class Activity 1: How can we control the role of selfish interest in family conflicts?
Lesson Outline 2: BIBLICAL WAYS OF
MANAGING CONFLICT WITHIN THE FAMILY.
i. Examine yourselves. Ps. 26:2; 2Cor.13:5.
ii. Love God and put Him at the centre of your family. Deut. 6:4-5.
iii. Forgive one another. Lk. 17:3; Eph. 4:26.
iv. Communicate effectively and resolve all conflicts as fast as possible. Rom.12:17-18.
v. Maintain openness and sincerity with one
vi. Live a life of humility. Prov.29:23;
vii. Love one another. I Pet. 1:22.
viii. Revenge not yourself for wrongs done against you. Rom. 12:19.
ix. Commit your ways to the Lord. Ps. 37:5.
x. Take every matter to God in prayers. James. 5:16.
Class Activity 2: What role can love for brethren play in resolving family conflict?
SUMMARY: Let there be no strife among us.
CONCLUSION: According to the word of God, all old conflicts must be resolved while there
should not be occasion for a new one for God to accept our worship. Matt. 5:23-25 5.
EVALUATION: How can we avoid conflict in the family?
CLOSING PRAYER: O God, let peace reign in our families.
ASSIGNMENT: Give five counsels at a family meeting to resolve material conflict e.g. Heritage.